Proverbs 25:17, The Message And when you find a friend, don’t outwear your welcome; show up at all hours and he’ll soon get fed up.
Blogs prior to this blog have talked about self-care and love! The two go hand and hand. As I sat down to write, I found my thoughts continuing to be around boundaries. Boundaries are key and essential to not only self-care but healthy relationships. Setting boundaries are not as easy as you may think. What are boundaries? As defined by Dictionary.com boundary, a noun, is something that indicates bounds or limits, a limiting or bounding line. How many times has someone, or something pushed you to your limit or crossed the line? I’m sure more times than you can count. You must pay attention to what is going on with you both internally and externally. Boundary building is challenging. It goes back to being self-aware. To build boundaries, one must know and understand their limits. Boundaries are a good thing! “Lack of boundaries invites lack of respect.” - Anonymous
What do we need to do to build and maintain setting boundaries? Here are some tips to moving to healthy, safe boundaries. Know where you stand so you set good, solid boundaries. Tune into your feelings and listen to your gut. An old saying, If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck. There is no need for you to be uncomfortable. Be direct and assertive! It is okay to say no! Consider your past and present in your continuous growth in self-awareness. Remember self-care must be a priority. In setting boundaries, you will need to be in a supportive community. It will take time to move boundary setting as a regular practice! Setting a boundary can be as simple as saying no because you don’t have it to give. When we don’t set boundaries, we feel stressed, taken advantage of and not respected. That is no way to live. But it’s not the responsibility of the other person. Boundaries allow there to be a definite point of where you end and someone else begins. Ask God what is an area in your life where a boundary needs to be set.
As you know this is #StuffValSaid, but what do you say? What has kept you from setting boundaries? How will you set boundaries? Where do you need to set boundaries? Here are a few things to consider:
• Limit – to restrict
• Stop – to say “no”
• Respect – to hold in high regard
• Support – to hold up
God places boundaries on the nations, on nature, and on men. Boundaries are good, and if they are set in a healthy way, they bring peace and security. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries in your life today. “Compassionate people ask for they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.” – Brene Brown
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